Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
