She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
