a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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