girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
