So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize