I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
