And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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