So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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