Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
