I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
