i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize