i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
