thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
