Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
