Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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