I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
