I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
