i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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