you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Say something about gay babies.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think I sprained my soul last night
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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