): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
