nut hugger
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
