I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
