How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize