I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
