I murdered the dance floor call the cops
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
3 2 1 whiskey
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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