Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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