Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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