The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
two words...techno handjob
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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