wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So much Jack, so little girl.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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