Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
