I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
