i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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