The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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