if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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