And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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