There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
