your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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