Say something about gay babies.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
