Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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