I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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