He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
