Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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