is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize