Sacagawea was the original milf.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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