Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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