I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
