what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
