I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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