Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
