So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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