It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
