Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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