Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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