I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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