fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
