This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
