he puts the penis in happiness.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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