have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
