I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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