Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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