No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize