So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
